Reconnecting

I didn't receive a message to pull a card yesterday. Instead I was led to follow a different stream. So I did.

Today it is beginning to come together ever so much more clearly.

As I was finishing up writing for my book this morning I had this inspiration to copy and paste it on to my blog.

It feels so important for all of us to listen to this wisdom.

Most of what I posted here is totally not edited yet. It’s almost all free thought just written on the page. I, however, feel like this is exactly what needs to be shared.

Trusting impeccably these days so here it is.

I copied a large portion of Bethany Websters e-book as it spoke to me so loudly and I didn't know which portion I would keep for my book. I am thinking I will keep it all as is here for now.

She is talking about the Mother Wound:

"The mother wound is a taboo that keeps all women separated from themselves, from one another, and from their true power. It has been allowed to fester unimpeded through generations due to patriarchy, which distorts the mother/daughter relationship into a power struggle that is impossible to win. (p 29)

"The mother wound is a product of patriarchy. Broadly speaking, we live in a patriarchal culture in which men are seen as powerful and women are generally seen as “less-than.” Patriarchy negatively affects both men AND women. One of the main principles of patriarchy is that feelings are inherently weak and are to be suppressed. Some emotions are actually labeled “negative” and are viewed with judgment as weak, unattractive, inconvenient and “bad.” (p 25)

“To make this even more complicated and painful, our society expects women to be caretakers and to put others’ needs before their own. Even with all the progress women have made in struggling for a more equal standing with men, the most attractive women are still seen to be the most agreeable, yielding and willing to be small. As a woman, focusing on yourself, your growth and healing is still largely seen as frivolous, selfish and a way of depriving other people in your life who are more entitled to your energy and focus. Empowered, assertive, successful and independent women are still viewed with a measure of suspicion and cynicism…... (p 34)

The cost to society and the world... The cost to the world is that generations of women keep themselves small so as not to offend, are compelled to blame themselves and bypass the chance to fulfill their potential. Thus, the genius, power, love and gifts of countless women are lost to the world….

It all comes down to this... The silence around the mother wound must be broken for all women to step into their power and become the change agents they are being called to be at this time in our history. We must see the ways that patriarchy has distorted the mother/daughter relationship and subsequently women’s relationships with themselves.We must be willing to disobey the patriarchal mandates that tell us to remain silent, to not feel the truth of our feelings and to push our authentic selves deeper into hiding….

(p 44)

Courageous women are stepping forward now to do the necessary inner work of healing the mother wound, to clear the way for their daughters and sons, and for the earth itself. This is part of a larger cultural shift that is happening. Women are in a powerful role to help create this shift. Healing the mother wound is a form of honoring your entire female line: the generations of women who have gone before you and the generations of women that are to come.” (p 50)

https://gallery.mailchimp.com/1f35ddfd95884379545f61152/files/What_is_the_Mother_Wound_Ebook_TWN.02.pdf

This now is an excerpt of an unedited portion of my book:

I’ve copied so much of Bethany Websters book as everything I am reading is running so true through my veins, my bones, deep inside my body.

This is the work we need to do.

This is the work I am doing.

I feel so grateful and actually “proud” of myself for being able to stay in this place of non-productivity and inaction. I truly was not sure if this was the path of truth or if I was succumbing in some way to avoiding taking responsibility and stepping into my power.

I am being prepared. I am strengthening my resolve, my ability to be with the shadow parts of myself. I am beginning to redefine the idea that “I am a woman who is inevitably intertwined with depression and anxiety”. Carrying this identity certainly keeps me in a place of smallness and invisiblity.

It’s so interesting how all these teachings are coming to me. Yesterday I was on Facebook and paused at a post someone shared about Joanna Macy. It intrigued me so I went in to find a little more of her wisdom. Here I came across some videos from a weekend retreat she offered at Spirit Rock Meditation Center https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZYhXHSvXFQ

Her message was so powerful.

I seem to be receiving the same message from everywhere.

Stay.

Stay with the suffering that arises.

Allow it to move through you

Embrace it and get to know what it has to say to you.

Joanna Macy would possibly say “be the Shambhala Warrior”

There were actually a couple things she said that resonated deeply with where I am currently moving through in my own life. The part that really struck me was when she said, “We are so afraid of suffering we pathologize it ….and this fuels our economy and some very noble professions”  She then continued to talk about how we need an honest capacity for grief, “the source of grief is love. We grieve what we love, and if we are afraid to feel the pain and loss then our capacity to love shrinks.”

Perhaps pathologizing myself as “depressed” is actually a form of deceit and contributes to a patriarchal system whereby we as the people remain powerless, invisible and small. What if this “depression” is merely a by-product of generations of us people denying the truth of who we are as souls. What would happen if I lifted this definition of myself and chose instead to define myself as a truly powerful person, capable of reaching anything my heart desires?

This is definitely a process. I not only carry my own wounds, I carry the wounds of my sister and my mother, of my grandmothers and those before that. I carry the wounds of all my sisters around the globe, past present and future. We all carry each others wounds. We are all connected so how could we not?

How could we not also then carry the wounds of the Great Mother, of the Earth Herself and all the beings and creatures that live upon and within it?

No wonder we are depressed!

And not only that, every time we turn around we are encouraged to deny these feelings and suppress them. If we allow ourselves to be in that place of sadness and grief we then also suffer the consequences of being alone and rejected. “Nobody wants to be around a depressed person”

And so the cycle continues.

So, how do we step beyond?

How do we reclaim that who we truly are?

We work it.

We work the process.

We go in the shadows and we become brave.

We join communities and create new paradigms together.

One little step at a time

We pick up the fragmented pieces

One little pebble at a time

Trusting that as we gather

As we hold those pebbles and place them on the ground

Eventually the pebbles become a beautiful vast shore that sits beside the waters

A shore that not only sits beside the waters but absorbs within the great mass of waters

And we become the wave

And the ocean

And We become the All

All from one little pebble.

-----------------------------------------

And so I have shared a little piece of my heart.

From my heart to your heart

I share the Love of the Goddess

Blessed Be

Wow.

Its been 8 months since I arrived in this place.
I don't even feel like the same woman writing this. At least not the same "layer" of the woman that I was.

I have been writing a book for the past 71 days.
Yup. Exactly 71 days. I can actually say it out loud now without feeling absolutely ridiculous.

I am writing a book.
I have committed to at least 1000 words per day for 100 days before I reassess what the next step is. "Coincidentally", the 100th day turns out to be Beltane.

Prior to writing my book every day I do a meditation. Today; as I was sitting, I began to feel some tremendously powerful energy move through me, incredible heat building up in my body. I've been practicing staying with these deeper intense emotions, so I was able to remain where I was and not "try" to do anything to move or control it. I am giving it life. Allowing it to be and express what it is. "Allowing" it to determine its own path, speaking clearly from Source energy. Without me interfering.

Not always an easy task.

Today, as I was leaning in I clearly heard the statement, "draw a card for the Collective." Shortly after, I heard a following thought that said for me to do this each week and enter it on my blog. This was a surprise as I have not even really thought of this blog for quite some time.

Well, as I am in a place of trusting my deeper instinctive Self this means if an idea rises from this place I honor it and I act. Sometimes this means just noticing and waiting for the right time. Today, it felt pretty clear that the time is now.

And so, here I am. Pulling the card for the week for the first time. We shall see how sustainable this is, see if it is something I will do as a part of my offering to the world...or if it is a one time thing. That is something I will be sitting with.

Its the Motherpeace Tarot I am invited to draw from today.
Interestingly, the 5 of swords fell out before I intentionally drew the card, so I have included that as well.

I'm going to digress for a moment as I've been with process a lot lately, and I want to acknowledge the struggle that is emerging as I write. "But, if I spend time with this I won't have time to bake my olive bread today! This is going to take so long!"

I recognize its about balance. I don't need to go into great depth. I don't "have" to go deep and explain the entire meaning of these cards.

I start where I am and view it from this place. I have already shared the post from "Hare in the Moon Astrology" on my Facebook page about the happenings with the planets (also Return of the WiseWomyn) and I can truly see why these cards came up. It is all connected.

Yes, we need to be careful and conscious, especially right now. Planets are going retrograde, planets are slowing, revealing to us those things that are ready for change, deep things that have been around for a long time. I'm feeling it.

We are vulnerable, we are at an edge of so many things. All the more reason to be conscious. All the more reason to slow down and be aware of our thoughts. Swords are mind. Bees sting. Bees can also be beautiful little creatures. It is up to us how we respond. We can struggle in the change or we can stand still and allow the bee to circle around us. We can stay centered.

I choose to stay, to lean in and honor that which rises. Even if it feels bigger than me.

I choose to listen to that Magician, the one who has all the tools she needs. The one who is ready to begin her journey of the next phase of her life. The next level of freedom, freedom from all those things that held me back in the past.

I am ready to meet the Priestess.

Today I take one step forward in service to the Collective and then I go bake bread, Kalamati Olive bread to be precise.

Today we can choose the Middle Way. We can be true to ourselves, draw on our gifts, be of service to the world and do what we love; what brings us joy.

What about you? What would this look like for you as we move into this incredibly powerful time?
(as we seem to be doing again and again and again ;))

Blessings!

Taking it one little Step Further

One day.

It has been 2 months since I wrote last and here it is one day.

I feel unfinished with what I started speaking of yesterday. So unlike me to write in this way. Maybe unlike a me that was, but more like a me that is? A me that is emerging? I truly have no idea.

In all honesty it actually surprised me that I was even writing about this topic.

...and yet I felt propelled to do it.

Then something else happened after I wrote my post yesterday and again I feel propelled.

I asked my daughter, Kelsea, to read it and share her thoughts as I feel she is very knowledgeable about these issues and I respect her point of view. She is not afraid to speak about such matters.

Originally in my first post (before editing) I had posted the statement "All Lives Matter" and Kelsea was very clear that in fact saying this was a form of violence in amongst itself. I had no idea what she was talking about.

She then shared some links with me about this and I began to understand how saying this was actually subtly removing the power of the message "Black Lives Matter'..so I changed it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julia-craven/please-stop-telling-me-th_b_6223072.html

As I was changing it I noticed the reactions in my body. I had immediately begun to feel anxious and unsteady about writing "Black Lives Matter" in my post. Why in the world would that stir up fear and anxiety within me?! Why would a statement that clearly supports respect and dignity towards black people make me feel so anxious?

In reflecting on this I think about the many conversations, reading material and posts that basically embody my world. Spirituality, self empowerment, manifesting our visions, supporting the earth, women's rights, astrological signs.... hopeful uplifting messages, speaking positively, looking for what is working in your life, focusing on the light.....People "like" the posts that make them smile. People "like" the posts that lift them up.

In my experience people don't really want to talk about the dark. People like to be a part of those events or circles where we dance, we chant, we drum, we sing.....In spiritual circles so often its all about focusing on the light, bringing in the light, expanding the light. We like the warm fuzzy feelings.

This is great. Trust me, I am not knocking it. We need these times. We all struggle with our own shit. We are exhausted from just trying to keep up with our lives and "doin' the do" we are expected to do. We focus and concentrate and encourage ourselves to not get pulled into the negativity that surrounds us. We need the release of energy to restore ourselves. We need the love and positive community. I so get that. Completely.

But we can't live without acknowledging the dark. We cannot possibly be whole. The sun does not shine day and night. We need the rain, we need the storms. We need the night and we need the moon. The Earth needs the sun, the sun needs the moon ...We need the muck as much as we need the beautiful bright flowers.

Maybe this is coming out of me because of my experiences in the last few months with an increased number of people coming out and talking about their hidden shadow worlds. It has become increasingly evident to me how much we do not talk with each other about the dark aspects of being human. Our mental illnesses. Depression, anxiety, abuse, addictions. So many are coming forward lately sharing how they keep silent about their struggles with mental illnesses, that if they do come forward people withdraw, they are silent, they call less. They feel judged and believe they are better off keeping it to themselves. They (owning this I also say "I") are struggling to succeed as they/I cannot see how they can succeed in a world that values consistent action and productivity. When you struggle with a mental illness the rules are different. Your needs don't always align with the way the structure of the system is set up.

....and now...I am writing about the racism against black people that is so evident in the world. That is appearing to touch my world in a much more tangible way. Perhaps before now, the vastness of it triggered my coping mechanisms of paralysis and denial and that is why it was not part of my reality. Well, I am looking now so I guess something is changing.

This came into my circle today as well: https://thsppl.com/i-racist-538512462265
 
We are so privileged as a white people. So very privileged. I am beginning to see a little more every day how deep this privilege goes and questioning within myself that I /we may need to look at how we benefit from a system that is set up in such a way.

Perhaps we need to open our eyes to the darker realities of being human. Perhaps we need to start acknowledging what is underneath and begin allowing ourselves to come face to face with the demons that are all around us .....maybe facing the demons is the only way that the poison can truly be expelled? Collectively and individually.

I have no idea where this is going. I am simply feeling propelled to speak from within...and so I am. I am beginning to listen and becoming more courageous. Perhaps if we all opened ourselves to listening to the dark side a little more and begin speaking our truths from that place we might be surprised what can be revealed.

Maybe the answers are in the dark?

Becoming an Ally

It has been a pretty busy summer and I have not spent much time writing at all. Much more action than contemplation.

Lately though I have been contemplating a lot within myself how I as a privileged white woman can be an ally for so many who face oppression, violence and discrimination on a daily basis. I have actually walked around with this question in my head for quite awhile without actually doing anything beyond posting a few things on Facebook of the incidences that have been public as of late. It really is beyond time for me to just think about it.

A couple weeks ago I posted a picture of myself on Facebook sitting in a kayak, sharing my excitement of the fact that I was able to experience this opportunity. I certainly do not want to diminish the fun that I had, however, what I did not acknowledge or share was the eye opening experience I received while kayaking around the lake. It actually was not all so pleasant. As a matter of fact there were moments that felt a little disturbing.

I kayaked in different directions for quite a distance both days because I had heard there was a river and I desperately wanted to find a space where I could commune with nature rather than cruise by the suburban like edges of the lake with its numerous cottages. Numerous, Enormous cottages. As I continued to paddle across the lake and through the channels I began noticing how EVERY SINGLE person who was in their boat or at their cottage was white...EVERY SINGLE one.....except for.... one small black girl standing on a dock amongst a white family. There were a LOT of cottages and a LOT of boats. All white.

I have probably witnessed this scene a hundred times throughout my life but never were my eyes open enough to see the imbalance of power and privilege. It struck me with such clarity of why so many white people might choose to remain silent and turn a blind eye to what is going on amongst so many other races. Grandparents playing on the beach with their grandchildren, couples and families lounging in their chairs by the  water, friends and family racing by in their luxurious motor boats. A world away from the chaos, from the harsh cold realities of life in society. Their own little piece of heaven.

Certainly, these people would not want to give this up. Of course not. If we began to open our minds to the cold truths of the imbalance and injustice in the world we might, just might have to start questioning the imbalance of wealth and we might have to start looking at how we participate in this. Blindly participating, absolutely. Unconsciously, oh yes. Most of us are basically good people and would never want to participate in anyone's else's pain and suffering.

Never did I think I was participating. Not really. I am a good person. I speak out when I witness people around me being hurt. Funny thing was I did not really realize until the last ten years or so how most of my life I lived in white middle class societies where it was quite the big deal if there was a couple of black people in our schools. I simply did  not see. I was not educated and I had many veils over my eyes....I was too sheltered and self absorbed to look at the big picture beyond my own personal experience and pain.

...and then my daughter's started growing up. I began changing and started feeling unsettled in these towns. I was also a single mom and I needed to find affordable housing...something not too accessible in these nice quaint towns and rural settings....so I moved to the city.

This is truly when I began to see truth, hear truth, and know truth. I started listening and paying attention.The young people have a lot to teach us. In my experience the young people are the ones beginning to take action, create change, speak their truth out loud. They are teaching me and I am waking up. I am learning. A little every day. Now it is time to share truth.

Today I asked myself how I can be more of an ally in my own little piece of the world. I am not an "activist" so to speak. I just want to act.  I began doing research and came across this article that expanded my knowledge a little bit more and gave me a tool kit of the things I can do in my every day life.

http://www.scn.org/friends/ally.html

Some days I do speak out....against a racist "joke" or phrase that is disrepectful. I share what I see and hear about some act of injustice or racism. I don't feel like there is a lot I can do from where I am in my life right now, but I do know a little might go a long way...especially if we all did our little bit every day.

Just a little.

I know it may be inappropriate in some way to say "All Lives Matter" but to me they simply do. Right now though it is about the violence and injustice against the black people that is very evident and today that is the place I speak from.

Black Lives matter.

It continues to be a learning experience for me as I learn what language is supportive. How we speak matters. As I grow and learn I only hope to speak in respectful ways towards all people.

We are all connected.

We are all from the same Source. All of us.

We are ALL Divine Beings.

Lets start treating each other as such.


The Spirit within me salutes the Spirit within you <3



Blessed Be

Ouroboros

Ouroboros:

"The Cyclic Nature of the Universe: creation out of destruction, Life out of Death, The Ouroboros eats its own tail to sustain its life, in an eternal cycle of renewal"


I am changing. Evolving. Stripping Away. Renewing.

Hearth and Soul is transforming,
becoming....

Awakening Feminine Wisdom.

For weeks now (feels like months lol) I have been questioning where I am, who I am and what my true gifts are as a sacred server to the world. I have been responding to what arises in each moment and have done my best to be present. What this has meant is that I have been asked to participate in some deeper stripping away of old....and even some "not so old". For example, I have come to the realization I am not actually an "herbalist" per se at all. I love herbs. I love integrating the herbs into my daily life. I love living in simplicity and making my own remedies and teas. I am not an herbalist. I simply love the herbs. I have met herbalists. They are people who have lived with the plants to a degree I never have. I finally own that. I have other gifts.

I also now realize at what point I began to birth this idea of being an herbalist and "trying" as hard as I can to "become" one. 2006. The year that I went through a catalyst event that changed everything. Through this event I realized with GREAT clarity that my life was severely broken and I myself was in a state of dis-ease....mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. This was the year I walked away from 20 years of Social Work and walked away from my business of Ancient Wisdom. The year I stepped into no-thingness. Invisibility. Being the "Wounded Woman".

The thing was, I did not (could not) stay in this place of no-thingness because there were way too many monsters, too many painful truths that I simply could not face at the time. My response was to quickly begin the mission of "re-creating" myself. I took control to close the "spaciousness" and immediately returned to school in a whole different field of work. Ecosystem Restoration.

..And so the new story began.

I no longer identified myself in anyway as an Intuitive Coach or Social Worker. That time of my life was done. (or so I thought)  I negated who I was before because she was simply too sick and I simply could not be "her" anymore. I had to re-create myself and choose a completely different path. Hence, the opening of herbalism and sustainability.

Which brings me to now. A returning to who I am. A completion of a circle and a beginning of a circle.

As I talked about last post I have been in a time of spaciousness. A void. Between the worlds. There is a change this time. This time around I am allowing myself to be in the spaciousness. I am beginning to feel the wheel turning in a way that seems to be bringing everything I have experienced in the past together as One. Its like it is all coming together full circle. The Ouroborus or Circle of Life Snake. The World card in the Tarot. The cycle ends where it begins. The symbol of infinity or wholeness.  There is no this or that. There is no straight path. It has all been spiraling towards the center in order to help me become more whole and begin again. From a place of wholeness. A deep place of truth.

I realize that the change I am moving through now is much different than any before. In the past when I would see truths about my self or my life I would leap forward to create something new and different. I would create a new goal, a new vision, a new sense of self.

What I see now, that I did not see then, was that I would repeat the same spiral over and over. I kept on responding in the same way I always had. I could not see it for what it was. It was not time for me to see. The alignment was not complete. I continued patterns of control that spiraled around and within themselves for years.

This time, however, I am being gifted with the ability to see this pattern from a complete different perspective. I am responding differently. Allowing a slow shedding of my old skin. I have never emerged this slow before. It has been somewhat of  a strange experience.

In the past I probably would have pushed this old skin off with all my might in order to become the next layer of self that lay beneath in order to move into the next spiral. This time, as I have vowed to do it differently I am allowing whatever emerges during this shedding to be present with me and I with it. There have been moments where I was not sure I could stay. I have been tempted to cross over to control and grab the reigns, doing it "my way". Yet, I consistently have been able to return to center and have chosen to stay. Present. In the moment. With what is. I am allowing "It" (Life) to transform me rather than me transform "it".

 I admit there have been those moments where I have become quite afraid that if I sat any longer in the "void of vagueness" or "not knowing"  and with the emotions of sadness or grief that I might be regressing back into the old places of depression, apathy or anxiety. Trust me when you have a story of depression (and other issues) allowing yourself to simply BE in sadness or feeling anxious or uncertain can feel quite intimidating. You just don't know if you have it in you to remain present and be the witness or whether you just might sink in the boat to the bottom of the ocean....and trust me here again when I say the mind can begin playing some pretty nasty tricks with you, taunting you to run and hide and forget about staying true to what is.

I am discovering the power and beauty of remaining true to ALL that is. I am also discovering the beauty of accepting and embracing who I am. ALL of who I am. This is what brings me to truth. This is what brings me to clarity. Clarity of who I am as a sacred server in the world. Slowly becoming clear.

Tarot Consultant. Spiritual Mentor. Priestess.

I am beginning to own my gifts. I believe in them and I am beginning to offer them through the lens of truth rather than self deception. Claiming our Power and Shining our Light in the world is definitely not an easy thing. Worth it? Yes. Easy? No.

Definitely, definitely worth it though.



And so the Wheel turns. As we do.


We are all becoming. We can all become who we are. All we need to do is get out of the way.

Be the World Snake.


The Ouroboros.


"The circular nature of the universe and time....death-rebirth, creation-destruction, love-hate, spring-winter-the eternal dance of the cosmos"

Allowing.  

               Becoming.

                                  Dying.                      


Resurrecting.

               Becoming  

                                   Living and..

                                                  Loving.



Truly Living  AND Truly Loving

             

Spaciousness

I keep
Thinking....

...its time to write again

then I stop.
          
Thinking.


and I feel


this moment

Being.                              Changing.                            

Shifting.


The Mystery.


Spaciousness

has been my story of late


Coming into                   Reflections                    

Remembering
Re  -  membering
                             
D
  e
    e
      p
               

Listening



a song

Sacred Earth - Ancient Mother

---------------------------

Oh Ancient Mother I hear You calling me
Ancient Mother I hear Your song
Oh Ancient Mother I hear Your laughter
Ancient Mother I taste Your tears

You are the water that I drink
You are the air that I breathe
You are the fire that keeps me warm
You are the earth beneath my feet

Open your heart
Open your mind
Feel your Soul
Flying free

------------

Her Heart with mine

Her Body
Earth
My body

Thinking diffusing
Being expanding

What I thought - was.
What is....
is not what was

Success:
      Being.
          True.
              Now.

Success finds its own path

Aligning my path with Hers is so simple

and
so Not!

Creating Spaciousness
Expands Awareness

Creating Spaciousness
Requires returning

Returning from Mind
from Past
and future
from plans and conclusions


Returning        
Constantly


this moment
                       
Openness
            & Desire

Openness  Trust
                      & Desire

Listening
Following
Acting.

Gratitude.

Emerging

Tarot
Plant Medicine

Balance

Love
Community

Life
Emerging

Now

and Now

and

Now......



Opening my heart                                            
Opening my mind
Feeling my Soul

Flying

free

free to Be

Whatever Emerges.


Love &
Blessed Be <3

Being the Plant I Am

Its beautiful out today!

Spring is almost officially here. :)

Funny though, the day it feels the warmest and the brightest is the first day I feel the opposite on the inside.

Muddy.

I have a pretty good sense what this is about...and I think I will follow the mantra that was suggested on one of the astrology sites I follow.

I have posted the site that truly speaks to me right now on Hearth and Soul's Facebook page.

I certainly am grateful for these astrology reports...because sometimes just before I feel I might be swallowed up by my emotions I read these and I am able to become the observer of myself and take note of the energies that are at play.

Not only is Saturn due to go retrograde but the moon is waning and this past weekend I made some major decisions in my life.

I have decided to keep the baby. lol.

Its funny. When we are dreaming our dreams and formulating how we can co-create these with the Universe we are so pumped to see it manifest....and then when it does; when we do give birth and make the commitment to "marry" that dream or "keep that baby" all hell breaks loose. Fear and doubt begin to yell a little louder. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU NUTS? WHERE DO YOU THINK THE MONEY IS GOING TO COME FROM? DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN SUCCEED AT THIS? DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DO THIS? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

Time to Sit. To sit STILL.

DEFINITELY time to sit....or....To clean, to putter, to step away and be. Wash the dishes, hang the clothes, go to a friends house and watch a movie. Hug someone. Give a little love.

Just sit....

and

Breathe.

Step away from all the planning, organizing, emailing.....and

take a break.

As my daughter would say "mom, sometimes you drive me mad. You just don't know when to relax and let go" So true. So funny.

I have been gifted with a car for a month so yesterday we drove to the Conservation area and went for a hike.

What a BEAUTIFUL blessing.

I was home.

Time changed. Tasks that needed done were left behind. I became something other than my self (note the small s....)

I fully realize now that taking on these roles I have chosen to accept brings me to a whole new level of being that I am unaccustomed to. Of course a part of me is uncomfortable and scared and overwhelmed at times. Being a "new mom" or being "newlyweds" is NEVER a piece of cake. Of course we are anxious when we step into a new relationship/new way of being. That's perfectly natural....AND

....perfectly perfect :)

Pretty soon all this snow (all the layers on top of the new seeds within us as well) will melt and the plants will begin to emerge.

Freely and effortlessly.

In their own time.

Being who they are without any struggle .

Allowing.....or rather...

just


Being.        Love.         Herself.

 Growing and becoming what they (we) are

Naturally...



A piece of the great Mystery

As we are.

A child of the Universe.

We are the mud..

and...

We are the plants.

We are the Universe.

We are perfect.

So. Now.

I can Be.

As Crystal B. Astrology says...

I got this.

Blessings!

Sage <3