I briefly visited my other posts and noticed there seems to be a pattern evolving here. It seems each and every time I unexpectedly get this nudge to come here without really knowing ahead of time this is how I will be spending some time.
Its a new moon and solar eclipse today. An interesting time to be pulled here.
Interestingly it also seems to come at those awkward times, however, I did make a commitment that as I feel the nudges I would listen and act. I felt some resistance today as I had no idea (once again) what I was to write about and then I remembered this quote from this book I am reading. The book is called "The Success Principles" (by Jack Canfield) and I must say it has loads of helpful insights and ideas how to get where you want to be. The section I am currently reading is called "Going Through The Awkward Stage". I remembered the sentence where it said that we had to "be willing to go through that awkward stage in order to become proficient.........you have to be willing to keep on going in the face of looking foolish and feeling stupid for a time"
At this point of my 'travels' this blog does not feel like it has any substantial base that it is coming from . It feels awkward as I don't have a particular theme that I follow and it basically tells me when to come to the computer and type. It is a challenge to break old habits. As I have probably mentioned before awkwardness and "fear of looking ridiculous" have not always been my friends. When they would emerge from the shadows I would cease the activity I was doing and proceed to discover another challenge I could meet ....halfway of course because as soon as these fears emerged I would cross the road and take another path.
Life is much different now. I have made a commitment. I have done the work and I have traveled too far to turn back now. When I take a close look at the progression of my journey I can clearly see that I am actually closely aligned with the turning of the wheel. I skim over the story of my life in the past year and see how Life Herself is bringing me closer every day to my Souls purpose here on earth.
Its May. Taurus. The physical, the body, instinct, the form maker, the builder, creating things in a tangible beautiful way. Plants have pushed themselves past the portal from darkness to the light. Buds have opened, allowing the sun to penetrate within.The days are longer and the sun shines stronger. Dreams, desires and passions are now being pushed to the next level....out of the soil into the light of day. I am being pushed to open to the larger whole, to open beyond the recesses of my mind and my writing on the paper. I am being asked to take steps that are bringing me closer to the physical manifestation of my vision. New steps, steps that I may not have ever considered on my own, from my own self will.
I open my senses and I hear the whispers of old voices. "What in the world are you doing? Are you absolutely crazy. You are taking on way too much you are never going to be able to do this" and yet I am being pushed like the seeds....out of my comfort of the dark soil. The Goddess is asking me to show myself, to expose my vulnerabilities and to take the risk to move into the light. To become the "Solar Female" in contrast to the Hermit who is the "lunar male". Understanding my essence as nature helps me once again connect with the season, just moving past Beltane the cross quarter day between the March Equinox and the Summer Solstice. At Beltane the female and male met, united and chose their paths. Together yet separate. Now it is time to shine. To act and be more of who I am out in the world.
It is at moments like this that I am grateful for the notes in my journal and the posts on this blog as I can read and reflect on the steps I have walked on this path. It brings to my mind the Fools Journey in the Tarot and the teachings of Astrology and how it relates to my own process in these last 6 months. I look back to October, a time before Samhain, a time of entering the void, heading into darkness. Not knowing, not seeing anything tangible to hold on to except for dreams, creativity and visions. The time for me to be the Fool to take the leap into the unknown and follow my intuition, blindly and in innocence as a child. A journey through the major arcana, unfolding and deepening of a vision and now this vision is wanting to break open, break out into the open.
I feel this spinning of wheels throughout my center as I feel the power of all the different wheels. The turning of the seasons, the planets, the cycles of the moon. The shifting of the stars and the power of numerology. My cauldron feels like it is bubbling over with immense power as all of these aspects of the Universe weave within and without of each other. Within and without of me.
Allowing is my mantra. Allowing and trusting. Getting out of the way and choosing to move from the place of interconnectedness with all things and all time. The Universal Force of Love, of Life within all things. I continue on.
Opening
Opening
Opening
The Mystery unfolds
one little step at a time
May the Goddess
be with you
as you open
to every step
along the way
Blessed Be!
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