Shifting into Sagittarius

I don't know about you but I can honestly say I am quite happy that we have left Scorpio and are emerging into Sagitarrius. For me, Scorpio was a deep, dark and intensely emotionally, healing time. Not that it wasn't amazing as far as transformations go but WOW the insights and realizations came from some pretty deep caverns and there were some pretty dark skies looming overhead. I am not sure what I am expecting for this next month but it sure would be nice for some of that fire energy to be present!....Well perhaps a small warming fire to be specific :)

Continuing to commit to move and live from our souls true essence is definitely not an easy task. I definitely know,however, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is so worth it to face the demons, learn to be with them, and learn how to let them be. I have been learning so much about living in the "Paradoxical Unity". Embracing all the parts of myself. Learning to be with my emotions more fully all the time. Being in the presence of power and in the presence of the scared vulnerable child within me at the same time. Knowing that one "Is", is only because of the other. We could never truly know power if we did not feel that sense of vulnerability and helplessness. Allowing myself to feel the light and the dark, the strength and the tenderness within me and holding both with love.....all the while standing in the middle, in a centred place is a tremendous task. I am sooo tempted to withdraw and distract myself with my old habits (especially those comfort foods and drinks) Quite the experience to stay on the path I have to say. It seems that no matter how long I walk this path I continue to be fascinated over and over again how my heart just continues to open and the healing continues to pour through. Sometimes it feels like the stronger the power flows through me, the deeper and the more intense the healing.

I recently joined this site called kindspring.org and right now they have this 21 day gratitude challenge going on. Today the question was "What have you lost and learned from?" This question today is definitely a gift as I am currently having to deal with more loss in my life and am asking for it to be put into perspective. I guess I have been gifted with a chance to do just that.

I have faced so many losses in my life in one form or another...whether it be family, friends, partners, my home, jobs, belongings, or habits, old ways of thinking or even addictions. We all have, and do, feel loss every day. Without these losses, this death, there would be no room for the new to emerge.

Sometimes though I feel like yelling and saying "enough! I don't want to deal with this any more!...I want something to take me out of this now! I want that home I dream of now. I want that job, I want that partner. I want to be loved. Now! Please take me out of this empty space!" Sometimes I wish I weren't me and I was a simpler, less complex person who just lived a "normal" life, with a "normal" job and family....(whatever that means!) Oh the illusions, the distorted fantasies. That damn ego. Resistance to what is always creates some level of pain. Pain is definitely a 2-edged sword. It brings such wisdom and yet it can be so tiresome. Another illusion..... how nice it would be to be free of pain. Pain is so often the gateway for connecting to All that is. I read an Oracle card today that said "Sometimes my heart needs to be watered by my tears." So true! Without water how can anything possibly grow?! Our heart needs pain just as much as it needs love! Again....One does not exist without the other.

I guess its all a matter of choice. Do I stay in resistance and pain....feeling sad and resentful for not getting what I want, whether that be love, approval, or things.... or do I feel it, embrace it, water my heart with the nourishing tears and then surrender myself to the Great Divine....trusting that all things emerge in the perfect way and the perfect time. I choose surrender...again...and again and again and again....

Expanding..Being...Contracting....expanding...being.....contracting......ever spiralling in and out, above and below and within......oh these cycles.....

.......my ability to trust in Life Herself is strengthened once again just a little bit more......


Blessed be your journeys...with love!


Ana