Comfort Foods be Gone!

Well, I am doing it.

I have committed to a number of things in the past and admittedly had difficulty sticking with one for any length of time. My attention always seemed to waver and be drawn to something else out there; however lately, I have been consciously focusing on some commitments that feel true enough and deep enough to stick with for awhile. Being consistent with these posts is one of them. Making healthy food and remedies in my own kitchen is another. Creating a business that serves the Goddess/the greater good is yet another. They are all weaving themselves together.

There admittedly have been many things I have wanted to commit to in the past, however, there have really only been a few that I actually did. Its only been recently that I am getting some real clarity with which ones I might actually even consider getting "married" to! (and trust me ...using that word itself says something! lol)



Throughout my journey's walk I have used an immeasurable number of tools to keep moving moving forward AND improve my health ...on many levels. As I revisit my last blog I remind myself that right now I have committed to sharing what I have learned and what has helped me to develop a healthier lifestyle specifically for my body.

I have a lot to share. That I am sure of.....I mean really....this is coming from someone who definitely had some addiction issues...and not just to alcohol....


To comfort food.

 Oh yea, comfort food was my source of sanity. I remember a time when being hungry was simply NOT an option. It was imperative that I felt full. If I waited to eat that meant I felt empty. If I felt empty that meant I felt more vulnerable. Being vulnerable was NOT a safe place for me to be.

Hunger equated with what I call "spinning". Feeling like I was going to lose it and completely spin out of control. Emotions would bubble up, my heart would speed up and I felt like the anxiety was going to combust out of my chest. I feared so deeply I would turn into this crazy mad woman running wildly down the streets. (seriously, I am not kidding here....I truly feared this at the time)

Dense doughy food was the answer. (well of course some substances here and there ...)

Eat healthier they would say. Healthy? Like salads? Like light meals? L.M.A.O. Not a chance. No way could I spend any length of time without a sandwich, coffee or snack. Anything to make me feel dense and heavy. Comfortably full. No space for any dark little demons to come out of the closets I had stuffed them in so well.

Its amazing how writing this takes me back in time and makes me look back and question...so what helped me? What helped me get out of this never ending wheel of moving towards inflexibility, inflammation and chronic fatigue. For me it had to get pretty bad before I actually had the courage to let go and take the risk to sit with the emptiness....even just a little.

One thing I learned that I think truly over rides everything else. Doing it alone did NOT work. Doing it alone was all I knew. I ALWAYS did it alone. There was no way I was letting anyone in. Not a chance. Took that bus. Crashed that one...several times. I depended on me and the sheer force of will to pull me through. That was how I survived.

Yet, I do believe that this all radically changed when I stepped through the doors of AA. Everything changed... Nothing was ever the same. Even though I learned AA was not my place and nor my issue, one thing I did learn was how incredibly powerful it was to know that I did not have to go it alone. Not only did my relationship with my Higher Power become stronger I also began to allow others to see my vulnerability, which in turn allowed me to see theirs. We could support each other. I began to see and experience how opening up and sharing my fears with another allows them to open theirs. I saw how my issues were there issues and we all share the same pain....and the same joy.

We are all in this together. Good Goddess, we have to be! We all have to stand strong against a society that encourages us to be addicts every single day. How in the world can we expect to ever do it alone?! Talking about setting ourselves up for falling down again and again!

So.

We share information, we give support. We take one little step towards our passion ...with commitment....gently, yet with conviction. We allow ourselves to admit our weaknesses and we share them with others....allowing them the space and freedom to also express theirs....and the connection begins, the healing begins ...and we all get healthier together...one little step at a time (my goodness I say that a lot don't I! lol)

Tomorrow is my birth-day :)

Another wheel begins.

Today I created a new Facebook page. I am posting a pdf file about Emotional Eating on my page that I find interesting and helpful. It is a beginning. I am now working for the Goddess and I am sure she has a lot for me to do....not sure how its all coming together but I AM sure She will let me know!


I have a feeling this is just the beginning :)

Another one ;)

Blessings!!

Sage