This is starting to actually feel like a relationship. :)
Amazing how when you commit to something and actually discipline yourself to show up and do the work, that experience begins to grow into an actual relationship. I admit it is taking some energy, some nudging and pushing to "show" up" consistently and be present in this relationship. I have no doubt a piece of that has to do with all the unknowns and whether this is what my heart truly wants. It may sound like a "common sense" thing to do - to show up - yet when you are a person like me, (excuse me Universe - like I have been in the past....not like me now ;)) showing up and being fully present... consistently, has NOT been a common practice.
Perhaps, that's why I am spending so much time on commitment. (and bear with me, as I read this post over I see it is a lengthy one, yet it all feels so relevant to share I chose to keep it as is :))
If I reflect on my past, I always had the greatest intentions - I truly wanted to have my own business, I wanted to work with my herbs, I wanted to eat healthy food (made by my own hands in my own kitchen) I wanted to do yoga regularly.....I truly wanted all of these things. Problem was there was always something missing. I would get started with intensity and gather all the tools I needed and then....
......I would get bored, life would unfold around me, the wind would start changing directions...and off I went to explore something else. It felt right. I felt called to do these things. My passion had waned for the thing I had begun a relationship with and it was time to move on. I see it now...that need for that next romantic rush, that feeling of elation and excitement. I was learning and expanding and I was sure that was the best path for me.
Yet.........even though I explained it to be that I was a "jack of all trades" and a "master" of none; that I was just one of those people that had multitude interests, I don't think I ever truly understood how many issues I had with that one little word.Commitment.
Not surprising really. I have always had a tendency (yes Universe...I know an important adjective - had) to get addicted to the high of the "rush", to the excitement of the learning ...plus the fact that there were many factors from my past that inhibited me from immersing myself with intimacy in any relationship....and the teaching I was receiving about commitment from my community and society itself was NOT something I wanted to be a part of....NOT one little bit.
I could do a whole blog on this one little word. (perhaps for another day :) Right now I have committed to focus on healthy eating....This is about food.
This is about body, about mind and about Soul.
All aspects of ourselves must be aligned for us to be committed...to be truly committed.
If we truly want something we have to make the time to connect and connect and re-connect again...every single day. That's how we take the action that brings us towards success. At least that's the action that has been bringing me towards success...success being that feeling of happiness, of feeling vibrant, abundant and grateful.
Relationships with people isn't really that different than having a relationship with whatever we are relating with. Its just the exchange of energy expresses itself in a complete different vibration... the relationship between you and your experience (ie. my food and I) is at a much more subtle level than our relationship with humans.
No wonder we give up so easily.
We don't 'see' those results. We don't 'feel' that immediate sense of satisfaction. We do not 'see' the benefits of all the work we are putting into it. We just don't 'feel' that immediate gratification we are so encouraged to be driven by in our society... So little by little we walk away, we turn away and we are no longer fully present in that relationship. We are half involved, partially interested and too distracted by everything else.
Such is the way of our society.
So, we have a choice. Follow the ways of the patriarchal society and continue our old habits of seeking immediate gratification and success...
...or we trust.
We trust in a Source that comes from a balance between the Masculine (active) and the Feminine (receptive). We discipline ourselves and take the action and....
...we listen to Source, allowing patience for it to unfold, trusting our heart is leading us to that which is in our highest interest.
So, this brings me to the practical, active piece of this work. The actual physical steps of following through with our commitment to become more conscious of our food and choose habits that are in line with the health of our bodies and of the earth.
We have looked at our habits of emotional eating, identified where we wish to be and now I am being asked to share something new that could propel us even further forward.
One of the things I realize as I am deepening my relationship with food is that there is a definite need to bring my kitchen up to the same level as I am. Its like anything really. As I change and develop; the old patterns, habits or ways of being that are no longer useful need to be released in order to create space for the new. Some of the equipment I had in my kitchen is no longer useful, the way I have things set up and what is in my pantry is no longer aligned with my new habits. As I become closer to eating more vegan and raw food I really don't have much need for my bread maker anymore. My girls gifted me with an AMAZING Excalibur dehydrator for my birthday (I know I am truly blessed! :)) so the plastic one I had no longer fits with my level of experience. I also have old cookbooks that have recipes using gluten and meat and they just do not match who I am anymore.
So, here I am going through my entire kitchen. Doing an inventory of sorts.....going through my herbal cupboard, my pantry, my drawers, my fridge....
Now, yes... I hear someone out there thinking "Wow, that would take a lot of time - go through everything.. I barely have enough time to prepare food at home with all the other things I got going in my life...and now I am supposed to do this too!...and besides who has the money to buy all the equipment and ingredients I need anyway?!."If anyone is like I have been (...and yes....I repeat to the Universe..... this was in the past, I am now in a different place) you could definitely take the old road and say "screw it", walk away and stick with what you have been doing.... or feel so overwhelmed you go in to paralysis, feeling frustrated as you really want this and beating yourself up for not doing anything......
Been there done that. Many times. Thing was though, when I really embraced this concept of "one foot in front of the other" things began to change....
....gradually.
I would look at the ideas brewing inside me and the action I needed to take and I would take one small step forward. Maybe even just one. If that's all I had I also began to embrace that, that was simply good enough. I did not have to be better than I was. I was doing the best I could at the time and that was good enough.
A friend of mine responded perfectly when I commented about how I was feeling a little pulled to follow my old patterns of going in to paralysis or distracting my self by doing meaningless things.....she said "Not an option - don't waste your energies thinking of old patterns which have not served you or propelled you - re-channel those energies into the commitments and promises you have vowed to take. Get going!"
So beautifully said!
I know as I practice the little steps repeatedly over time those steps become a little more like strides.... without me even realizing it. The more I practice, the stronger I become and the further I am propelled forward.
In a nutshell here are a couple things that I am finding helpful as I move through this next spiral of change:
1. I am definitely pausing and centering, asking for assistance from Source energy before I make any plans or decisions. (checking in with "my boss" you might say) on a daily basis - several times during the day actually.
2. I am working with someone who is "acting" as my accountability person ( I say acting because for me I feel I am ultimately accountable to God Herself as she is the director of my life)
3. I am choosing a specific time for the week to do time management for that entire week...keeping in my mind I have to be flexible; however, I have so many things going on (including a part time job) that I have to organize my time to follow through) I even set the timer on my phone so I stick with the time I delegated to the task.
4. I am taking stock of my successes
5. I am remembering to be gentle with myself
6. I am accessing resources to help me move forward in the most efficient way.
As before, I am posting a couple articles on the Hearth and Soul Facebook page as resources to help you continue to progress further on your journey towards healthy eating.
I hope you find something here that is helpful!
If you are seeking any further support please feel free to connect with me!
Love and Blessings
Sage
YES!!!
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