Coming out of the Closet

Its amusing to me that I posted this last week, however, it appears I did not post all that wanted to be said. 

I review what I posted and all kinds of images and thoughts arise in my head. I go back to the sub-title of this blog - Remedies for the Hearth  AND Wisdom for the Soul. I have been invited in some way to share a few more thoughts before I post about the herbs. 

I actually have a few conflicting thoughts about all of this stirring inside my head. I believe much of what has to do with integrating the voice of Sage with the voice of Ana. We all have these pulls of various parts of ourselves, all wanting to express themselves and all having opinions about one thing or another. So often the struggle in moving forward is that we really don't have a clue which 'voice' to listen to....which aspect of ourself is closer to our Soul and which aspect may need to be let go. If I were to separate these dialogues in this moment I would say that Ana is questioning the purpose and depth of these posts, wondering, "why in the world waste time writing about dream pillows and remedies when there is so many more important things that need to be addressed in the world? There are so many other things I could be doing to help the community, the earth, the world....."

Sage on the other hand is absolutely delighted to be coming out of the closet, is excited to be provided a little space to have some fun, not always be snuffed out by the idea that everything must have purpose and serve the bigger picture with serious fervour. Her thoughts are that perhaps this level of seriousness has a little to do with martyrdom? ..or with the idea that we must work REALLY hard and play BIG important roles in order to feel we have any value or worth.....Perhaps following joy and delight could ripple out in some way to create valuable change that has great impact as well? 

Mmmm.... 

Joy and Delight. 

Not many of us are greatly accustomed to embracing these 2 words in our lives. I think Sage has a point. I choose to be Sage right now. 

Small can also be beautiful :)

hence......

The Herbal Cupboard

Today I will post a few things I have created and observe what/ if anything emerges....

I have particular items in stock, however, I am also creating personalized herbal bundles for people dependant on their own needs. Each item is available individually as well.

If anyone is interested in purchasing any of these items on-line they can email me as I do have Pay-pal or we can do an e-transfer. I am also including information how to create these yourself as well.

You also can request herbal remedies/teas and have something
made

 Just for You

Personal Consultations are available. :)

"Peace be with You" 
Herbal Bundle

A complete package for expanding peace in your life, 

 increasing those moments of restful sleep.

....and....

Connecting more deeply to your dreams 

Includes Sleep Sweetly Herbal Pillow,  Lavender Eye Pillow, Peaceful Moments tea blend,
Sublingual sleep spray, Sweet Dreams Salve, Relaxease massage oil, Skullcap/Valerian Tincture
Whole package sells for  only
$39.95

or buy individually.....

Sleep Sweetly Herbal Pillow
$4.95

Chamomile: Gently calms nervous system. Also good for little ones with upset stomachs.
Hops: The oil within Hops has an effect upon the nervous system and has been used to bring on sleep
Rose: Bring a sense of well being, evokes a spirit of love in the mind and heart
Lavender:  Calming to the mind and body. Helps to alleviate headaches brought on by stress and fatigue.

Simply tuck this little pillow under your own and slip away into sleep with a little help from these lovely smelling herbs.

....... if you are inclined (and have the time) to make your own here are the instructions:

Create your own Sleep Pillow:

Get yourself some nice scraps of comfy fabric (I used some soft fuzzy old pyjamas) and cut it onto any shape you desire. Just make sure it is big enough to tuck a few herbs into. You will need needle and thread as well. I also used one of those little thimbles to be gentle to my fingers :)

Once your fabric is cut, choose which side you wish to have facing out and sew around 3 sides, leaving one end open to tuck the herbs in. Little tip to remember - to make it neat ensure you have the side of fabric you want exposed on the inside of the pouch so when you complete sewing the 3 sides you can turn it inside out and conceal your sewing job :)

You can use any combination of these herbs and even add Mugwort if you wish for it to serve more as a dream pillow. Another couple options for herbs are Lemon Verbana and Catnip (although if you have cats I am not so sure that is a good idea.. lol)

When deciding on how much of each herb to add, I generally base it on how the aroma of the mixture makes me feel in the moment. If its bringing me pleasure then I am guessing the mixture is about right :)  It may be best to mix the herbs in a bowl prior to putting them in your pillow. Once you have found the combination that feels best for you empty the herbs into the pillow and sew it closed, then gift yourself with a beautiful blend of aromas to help you slip into the world of sleep.


 Lavender Eye Pillow
  $5.95

Lavender and Hops (see above)

Double strand of elastic to keep pillow snug against your head comfortably. Perfect for those mornings you get to sleep in or for those days when you absolutely must have a nap and that light is just a little too bright.

To make the Eye Pillow simply follow instructions from the sleep pillow however cut the fabric the length from temple to temple so that when you hold it over your eyes very little light can sneak in. I found it best to sew 2 straps instead of only 1 as it sits much more comfortably on your head. (Especially if you move around a lot like I do!)

In my next post I will continue to display the herbal remedies/teas in this bundle. 

For now we will start a little at a time just to get the momentum going :)

 

 Packages that are in the works right now are:

Passage through Menopause

Easing Moontime

Energy enhancing

Cold and Flu Remedy kit

Easing Heartburn and Ulcers

Vibrant Root Chakra

Arthritis and Joint Pain

First Aid Kit

Kits can also be requested for children and pets

......and......

Requests can also be made for Custom teas.

...and remember..... 

Personal Consultations are available
to make something

Just for You! 

......or gifts for your loved ones :)

As the Wheel Turns

Wow.

It has been a long time since I wrote anything here.

There is such a paradigm shift going on within me and around my life I am much less cognizant what to express here. I never seem to be clear whether to use this space to share my experiences and the shifting nature of my Self in an abstract way or use this space to display and offer the herbal teas and remedies I have created...or it could be both......

......alas I never seem to truly know what ends up bringing me to this space. I guess that's because its truly really never up to me!

I have procrastinated with sharing my herbal remedies for some time as I often hear a voice within telling me everything is not "up to standard" as it should be, that I really do not have enough to share, or that people don't want to mess around with herbs anyway...... I am beginning to truly accept, however, that this voice is not my Essential self but rather that of the Critic and Judge that have resided within me for a very long time. I am realizing that the longer I wait for my idea of the "perfect" package" or the "right" quantity to appear I may never share what I have to offer. Do I simply keep planning, organizing, stocking and wait for the perfect time to come, until I truly think I am good enough....or do I stumble along and start putting forth bits and pieces and see what unfolds? Maybe, I am being called to do this for a complete different reason than I could possibly understand right now..

I have suspected this before however I am now starting to get an even stronger sense that perhaps at some subconscious level I am using these reasons as an excuse to stay small and somewhat less visible..... and I would not have to take the risk to step out there and reveal myself a little bit more.....

It is such a challenge for so many of us to risk showing ourselves. So many stories and memories in our minds that want to protect us. So often, we compare ourselves to all the other people out there and say "oh my god" I am not near as good as so and so, I can't possibly succeed doing this. I probably will be laughed at for even thinking I can do this.... I have so much more I need to learn before I can even think about sharing this with others, there is way too much to do and I really don't have time to focus on this right now anyway......and on and on we go.

I am thinking that most often we are either terribly afraid of failure or even more so of success...or possibly of both. Question is, how do we even define success?...and...is there really any such thing as failure?

I have realized throughout my journey that NOTHING I have ever done has been a failure or mistake. If any thing, any small thing, had been different in my life I would not be where I am. Every single step, every choice I made brought me to the next which eventually rippled out to this present reality. One that reflects much more closely the truth who I truly see myself to be. I had to peel away the layers of conditioning that were enveloped so tightly around me and uncover lies I had convinced myself as truths for so many years. In order to see the subterranean levels of truth I had to dig into colossal mounds of dirt and go into many dark crevices. Some of which I truly did not understand at the time, yet were essential to connecting with the web of roots beneath it all.

Now I choose to take this next step. My heart says go. Stumbling along, not really understanding what will emerge I choose to follow that which speaks to me from deep inside myself. Apprehension, fear and all.

My heart says go. So, go it shall be.

I think I choose to define that to be success.

Next post will be me revealing what is in The Herbal Cupboard and instructions on how you can make your own as well.

Bright Blessings!

Sage

Happy Cardinal Grand Cross!

Its Easter morning....a day before the Cardinal Grand Cross takes place.

I am sitting on my love seat with Bella (my dog/my animal companion) deciding what is the best use of my time today. Tomorrow is the long awaited Cardinal Grand Cross many astrologists have been talking about and so it makes me think about this past little while and what it has been like for me.

It is true. Nothing does really feel the same as before....(even the face of my blog keeps changing - similar to my own I guess!) There seems to be a truth unfolding about myself and my relationship with Life that has been underneath all the layers of skin that I had wrapped so tightly around myself.

I think it was during my training with Sophia Bonnie Wodin (Priestessing your Life training which I recommend to anyone who wishes to continue expanding and living their truth) where this became even more vivid to my awareness. We did an exercise around "self" where we stripped off every aspect of ourself that we knew ourself to be. This included roles, patterns, habits, beliefs and ideas. Each layer I removed I gifted to the earth and allowed them to fall away gracefully. Each time returning and undressing another layer of self. After some time of doing this I began to feel this sense of being an abstract and translucent form until I reached a point where I felt like I was a shimmering wave of light caressing the air. It was like I became the air itself, yet I still had my own unique shimmer. I was completely 'Self' free of all the earthly selves I had become. It was an extremely freeing sensation. We were then invited to begin drawing back within us only those aspects of self that we knew to be empowering and nurturing to our soul. Aspects that would join with Self in ways that would bring wholeness and power. Some aspects of myself I chose to leave with the earth, to become compost and transform to something other than myself. I let go, buried and surrendered parts of me that I had held onto for years of my life. Intimate parts of myself that I had a deep relationship with and trust in during many years of strife, struggle and chaos. It was time to give them back. They had served their purpose. I have met death a number of times in my life and I can say this experience paralleled very closely that feeling of burying someone you love. I covered these parts of me tenderly with soil and built a miniature shrine with little morsels of nature.

Since that moment on I felt a change that I could only glimpse before.

Sometimes to move into our power we have to experience this death, this giving away parts of ourselves we love so deeply and dearly. There are definitely moments where pieces of the old may attempt to niggle their way back, however, their substance as they had been lives no more.

Change is happening whether we want it to or not. It is beyond our grasp. We have a choice to embrace it or resist. To become part of the whole or push and pull to split off and be what "we" (the ego) want to be.

Its interesting actually because this morning someone wished me a happy Easter and I shared that I was in fact more connected to the changes taking place astrologically than to the holiday of Easter. I realized then the irony of how during this time of death and rebirth we are in fact experiencing this at planetary levels as well as in the religious form. In minute individual ways and collectively.

"Cardinal signs are natural leaders and initiators. The mode is pioneering, conquering and carries great force. If that Cardinal power battery also contains catalysts of change (Uranus and Pluto) combined with military might (Mars and Jupiter.) then we really are in for a life-changing event of epic proportions. In the natural zodiac the cardinal cross covers the four fundamentals. Ourself (Aries) V Partner (Libra), Career (Capricorn) V Home life (Cancer.) Important transits that occur within this cross will change the very foundations of our lives. Those who get this falling in their angular houses will feel the force of it the strongest."

(http://darkstarastrology.com/grand-cross-2014/)

Change is upon us.
Might as well enjoy the ride!

The fright. The fear...
and all the thrills 
being swooped above the clouds
and down the steep
inclines.

Its all Life. 
Its all us....

Life and Us are One. 

Blessed be Life. 

I think now I will go make a new smudging feather :)

Happy Grand Cross everyone!

Full Moon. Blood Moon. Transformation.

Its been a long time since I wrote anything here. The changes I have been experiencing remind me of the time I lived in Grimsby and would walk down to the beach during a windy thunderstorm to witness the magnificence of the waves rolling in with such force it literally changed the landscape. I remember holding my stance against the wind, protecting myself as much as I could from the slashes of rain whipping against my face, feeling marvelled by the force of the water and then returning the next day to discover what new changes the storm brought forth.

In the last couple months I have basically have been watching the waves of Life bring forth transformation in all areas of my life. I have been holding my stance and doing my best to stay centred and steady through it all. Allowing and Willing the changes to come. What a ride!

Clarity is beginning its return and soon it will be time to write again. Once the clarity returns perhaps I will be shown what path to follow in my writing. For now though, I am simply dropping by and sending many blessings to all on this eve of the Full Moon....of a total Lunar Eclipse.

Blessed Be!

Imbolc I Am

This day 

Imbolc

  

 yet another fluctuation

another tremor

of movement

of beginnings

of changes 

Whispers in my ear

beckoning me

come forth

Be

 the seeds of transformation

doorways and

portals

to other unknown aspects of myself

deeper, truer ways of being

I stand at the threshhold

turn my head and look back

I see

the old 

ways of being

definitions, stories and ideas

of who I was 

morphing

into

who I am

Can I let go?

Allow this transmutation?

A new plant is taking root

A seed

in the darkness of the soil

quivering, waking up

I am not the same seed 

I planted before

It is new

It is different

I feel tender waves of fear

washing upon the shores of my consciousness

Subtle, almost invisible changes 

of immense power

I draw on the power 

of the Fierce Goddess within

 Fire and Will

and wrap myself in a cloak of tenderness

I am not alone

Gently 

 with strength 

I step through 

into acceptance 

embracing this new seed

that I am 

that I Am...

Yes!

I Am!

Blessed Be your Journeys

The Beginnings of Birth for a New Year

And so....it is the first morning of 2014. A new moon, a supermoon. I have felt the beginning of this shift since the turn of the wheel at the Solstice, perhaps even deeper, at Samhain.  Today, however, I feel the mass shift as we have now all moved through the transition.

Today, is the most peaceful I have ever felt on New Years day. Today, without consciously intending to I have awoken in a quiet deliberate way. The outside world is so still and quiet right now, free of the rushing and frantic noise of people purchasing their goods in the plaza across the way. Enya is playing softly in the background and as I look up I see a large flock of geese flying in formation. The candles burn brightly on each side of my computer, while turtle, spider, a symbol of Ganesh and an empty clay bowl sit in the space beside me.

As I sat in my wicker chair in the kitchen this morning; listening to the bubble of my oatmeal cooking, my senses felt so alive and awake. My cat Nallah lingering on the edge of the chair licking her paws and Bella (my Bijon) laying quietly on the floor. The smell of the oats and aroma of the herbs, the love I feel for my girls (as I look at the pictures of them on my fridge) are vibrant within my body. I see how time has passed as I look at the pictures of them as little children and now as beautiful young women. I feel such comfort and peace.

Earlier this morning I read a small piece from Clarissa's book, Women who Run with the Wolves, a small story at the end called The Wolf's Eyelash. There, was a beautiful poem describing what a young woman saw after she was gifted an eyelash, the sight of the wolf. A small section summed it up so well for me;

She saw all things

with her lash of wolf,

all things true,

and all things false,

all things turning against life,

and all things turning toward life,

all things seen only

through the eyes of that

which weighs the heart with heart

and not with mind alone.

...and if you listen closely,
the wolf in its howling is always asking the most important question

wooooor

aieeee th'

sooooooooool?

wooooor

aieee th'

soooooooool?

Where is the soul?

 Where is the soul?

Go out into the woods,

go out,

Go out into the woods,

go out'

Go out into the woods, go out.

If you don't go out in the woods, nothing will ever happen 

and your life will never begin.

I have walked into the woods a'many times this past year...and let me tell you it wasn't always a friendly place to be. I met many creatures of the forest and was tempted to run, to hide and never come out, however, I also was gifted with the teachings of so many. I would never have begun my walk if I never entered the woods. And now, it is coming together. I see things as they are, I am so much stronger and able to be with the moment that is. 

This time that we enter now is even harder for some as we wait for the sun to return. Oh, we want it so badly, we want that brightness, that warmth to reappear. The waiting is always such a time. The energy is so strong. The alignment of the planets speaks of transformative times. Of great changes within and without. For myself I notice acceptance I never felt before. My mind is so expansive and dreams the biggest dreams...while externally I cook and wash my dishes. I find myself working with my hands and creating instead of living in my dreams. My internal world shifts through so many lives beyond what is, yet I get up and I walk to work, I do what needs to be done. I see now. I see it is all good. This is the way, the middle way. The centre of the wheel. The centre of being and doing. Waiting, acting, sitting, waiting, acting, listening. I have learned patience. I am learning patience..... I am patience.

I am grateful for the year behind me and anticipating the year ahead. I wait for the next step beneath my feet to unfold before me. It is my choice. I decide which way to go. 

Do I stay in old familiar ground or enter the woods? How do I make a move?

Astrology can also guide us, can show us a way.

So much is happening. Such intense energy. 

"Some people right now leading up to the New Moon in Capricorn, are feeling the strong driving push for purging, cleansing and letting go. It is downright uncomfortable and possibly full of grief, intense emotions or even deep fears coming up. This is par for the course now. Go with it, be with it, accept it. Get some rest if you feel exhausted. It will shift soon enough....

“Be honest with yourself.  Have you ignored the warnings and now conditions have worsened? You are a powerful creator. You can use your power to improve your life.  Have better relationships. Work with passion and feel good. Remember that, you have an important role to play or you wouldn’t be alive. You matter. You count. There is no one who can replace you. You are a valuable treasure."  
http://www.mysticmamma.com

You matter! 
You Count!

You are a valuable treasure!

We all matter!

We all count!

We are all beautiful treasures!

Now we begin the work. Now we look at the dreams and we begin to use our hands and build....slowly but surely, piece by piece with the wolf by our side. We begin to go through the labour of giving birth. It may be awhile before the "baby' is born yet we remember, whatever we choose to feed is what will come forth. And we know it is well worth the wait.

Question is which wolf will you feed? 

Can you welcome the sight of the wolf and reach for the skies?

Shifting into Sagittarius

I don't know about you but I can honestly say I am quite happy that we have left Scorpio and are emerging into Sagitarrius. For me, Scorpio was a deep, dark and intensely emotionally, healing time. Not that it wasn't amazing as far as transformations go but WOW the insights and realizations came from some pretty deep caverns and there were some pretty dark skies looming overhead. I am not sure what I am expecting for this next month but it sure would be nice for some of that fire energy to be present!....Well perhaps a small warming fire to be specific :)

Continuing to commit to move and live from our souls true essence is definitely not an easy task. I definitely know,however, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is so worth it to face the demons, learn to be with them, and learn how to let them be. I have been learning so much about living in the "Paradoxical Unity". Embracing all the parts of myself. Learning to be with my emotions more fully all the time. Being in the presence of power and in the presence of the scared vulnerable child within me at the same time. Knowing that one "Is", is only because of the other. We could never truly know power if we did not feel that sense of vulnerability and helplessness. Allowing myself to feel the light and the dark, the strength and the tenderness within me and holding both with love.....all the while standing in the middle, in a centred place is a tremendous task. I am sooo tempted to withdraw and distract myself with my old habits (especially those comfort foods and drinks) Quite the experience to stay on the path I have to say. It seems that no matter how long I walk this path I continue to be fascinated over and over again how my heart just continues to open and the healing continues to pour through. Sometimes it feels like the stronger the power flows through me, the deeper and the more intense the healing.

I recently joined this site called kindspring.org and right now they have this 21 day gratitude challenge going on. Today the question was "What have you lost and learned from?" This question today is definitely a gift as I am currently having to deal with more loss in my life and am asking for it to be put into perspective. I guess I have been gifted with a chance to do just that.

I have faced so many losses in my life in one form or another...whether it be family, friends, partners, my home, jobs, belongings, or habits, old ways of thinking or even addictions. We all have, and do, feel loss every day. Without these losses, this death, there would be no room for the new to emerge.

Sometimes though I feel like yelling and saying "enough! I don't want to deal with this any more!...I want something to take me out of this now! I want that home I dream of now. I want that job, I want that partner. I want to be loved. Now! Please take me out of this empty space!" Sometimes I wish I weren't me and I was a simpler, less complex person who just lived a "normal" life, with a "normal" job and family....(whatever that means!) Oh the illusions, the distorted fantasies. That damn ego. Resistance to what is always creates some level of pain. Pain is definitely a 2-edged sword. It brings such wisdom and yet it can be so tiresome. Another illusion..... how nice it would be to be free of pain. Pain is so often the gateway for connecting to All that is. I read an Oracle card today that said "Sometimes my heart needs to be watered by my tears." So true! Without water how can anything possibly grow?! Our heart needs pain just as much as it needs love! Again....One does not exist without the other.

I guess its all a matter of choice. Do I stay in resistance and pain....feeling sad and resentful for not getting what I want, whether that be love, approval, or things.... or do I feel it, embrace it, water my heart with the nourishing tears and then surrender myself to the Great Divine....trusting that all things emerge in the perfect way and the perfect time. I choose surrender...again...and again and again and again....

Expanding..Being...Contracting....expanding...being.....contracting......ever spiralling in and out, above and below and within......oh these cycles.....

.......my ability to trust in Life Herself is strengthened once again just a little bit more......


Blessed be your journeys...with love!


Ana