Tuesday 19 April 2016

Reconnecting

I didn't receive a message to pull a card yesterday. Instead I was led to follow a different stream. So I did.

Today it is beginning to come together ever so much more clearly.

As I was finishing up writing for my book this morning I had this inspiration to copy and paste it on to my blog.

It feels so important for all of us to listen to this wisdom.

Most of what I posted here is totally not edited yet. It’s almost all free thought just written on the page. I, however, feel like this is exactly what needs to be shared.

Trusting impeccably these days so here it is.

I copied a large portion of Bethany Websters e-book as it spoke to me so loudly and I didn't know which portion I would keep for my book. I am thinking I will keep it all as is here for now.
She is talking about the Mother Wound:

"The mother wound is a taboo that keeps all women separated from themselves, from one another, and from their true power. It has been allowed to fester unimpeded through generations due to patriarchy, which distorts the mother/daughter relationship into a power struggle that is impossible to win. (p 29)

"The mother wound is a product of patriarchy. Broadly speaking, we live in a patriarchal culture in which men are seen as powerful and women are generally seen as “less-than.” Patriarchy negatively affects both men AND women. One of the main principles of patriarchy is that feelings are inherently weak and are to be suppressed. Some emotions are actually labeled “negative” and are viewed with judgment as weak, unattractive, inconvenient and “bad.” (p 25)

“To make this even more complicated and painful, our society expects women to be caretakers and to put others’ needs before their own. Even with all the progress women have made in struggling for a more equal standing with men, the most attractive women are still seen to be the most agreeable, yielding and willing to be small. As a woman, focusing on yourself, your growth and healing is still largely seen as frivolous, selfish and a way of depriving other people in your life who are more entitled to your energy and focus. Empowered, assertive, successful and independent women are still viewed with a measure of suspicion and cynicism…... (p 34)

The cost to society and the world... The cost to the world is that generations of women keep themselves small so as not to offend, are compelled to blame themselves and bypass the chance to fulfill their potential. Thus, the genius, power, love and gifts of countless women are lost to the world….

It all comes down to this... The silence around the mother wound must be broken for all women to step into their power and become the change agents they are being called to be at this time in our history. We must see the ways that patriarchy has distorted the mother/daughter relationship and subsequently women’s relationships with themselves.We must be willing to disobey the patriarchal mandates that tell us to remain silent, to not feel the truth of our feelings and to push our authentic selves deeper into hiding….
(p 44)

Courageous women are stepping forward now to do the necessary inner work of healing the mother wound, to clear the way for their daughters and sons, and for the earth itself. This is part of a larger cultural shift that is happening. Women are in a powerful role to help create this shift. Healing the mother wound is a form of honoring your entire female line: the generations of women who have gone before you and the generations of women that are to come.” (p 50)


This now is an excerpt of an unedited portion of my book:

I’ve copied so much of Bethany Websters book as everything I am reading is running so true through my veins, my bones, deep inside my body.

This is the work we need to do.
This is the work I am doing.

I feel so grateful and actually “proud” of myself for being able to stay in this place of non-productivity and inaction. I truly was not sure if this was the path of truth or if I was succumbing in some way to avoiding taking responsibility and stepping into my power.

I am being prepared. I am strengthening my resolve, my ability to be with the shadow parts of myself. I am beginning to redefine the idea that “I am a woman who is inevitably intertwined with depression and anxiety”. Carrying this identity certainly keeps me in a place of smallness and invisiblity.

It’s so interesting how all these teachings are coming to me. Yesterday I was on Facebook and paused at a post someone shared about Joanna Macy. It intrigued me so I went in to find a little more of her wisdom. Here I came across some videos from a weekend retreat she offered at Spirit Rock Meditation Center https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZYhXHSvXFQ

Her message was so powerful.

I seem to be receiving the same message from everywhere.

Stay.
Stay with the suffering that arises.
Allow it to move through you
Embrace it and get to know what it has to say to you.


Joanna Macy would possibly say “be the Shambhala Warrior”

There were actually a couple things she said that resonated deeply with where I am currently moving through in my own life. The part that really struck me was when she said, “We are so afraid of suffering we pathologize it ….and this fuels our economy and some very noble professions”  She then continued to talk about how we need an honest capacity for grief, “the source of grief is love. We grieve what we love, and if we are afraid to feel the pain and loss then our capacity to love shrinks.”

Perhaps pathologizing myself as “depressed” is actually a form of deceit and contributes to a patriarchal system whereby we as the people remain powerless, invisible and small. What if this “depression” is merely a by-product of generations of us people denying the truth of who we are as souls. What would happen if I lifted this definition of myself and chose instead to define myself as a truly powerful person, capable of reaching anything my heart desires?

This is definitely a process. I not only carry my own wounds, I carry the wounds of my sister and my mother, of my grandmothers and those before that. I carry the wounds of all my sisters around the globe, past present and future. We all carry each others wounds. We are all connected so how could we not?

How could we not also then carry the wounds of the Great Mother, of the Earth Herself and all the beings and creatures that live upon and within it?

No wonder we are depressed!

And not only that, every time we turn around we are encouraged to deny these feelings and suppress them. If we allow ourselves to be in that place of sadness and grief we then also suffer the consequences of being alone and rejected. “Nobody wants to be around a depressed person

And so the cycle continues.

So, how do we step beyond?
How do we reclaim that who we truly are?

We work it.
We work the process.
We go in the shadows and we become brave.
We join communities and create new paradigms together.

One little step at a time
We pick up the fragmented pieces

One little pebble at a time

Trusting that as we gather
As we hold those pebbles and place them on the ground
Eventually the pebbles become a beautiful vast shore that sits beside the waters
A shore that not only sits beside the waters but absorbs within the great mass of waters

And we become the wave
And the ocean

And We become the All

All from one little pebble.

-----------------------------------------

And so I have shared a little piece of my heart.

From my heart to your heart
I share the Love of the Goddess


Blessed Be

Monday 11 April 2016

Wow.

Its been 8 months since I arrived in this place.
I don't even feel like the same woman writing this. At least not the same "layer" of the woman that I was.

I have been writing a book for the past 71 days.
Yup. Exactly 71 days. I can actually say it out loud now without feeling absolutely ridiculous.

I am writing a book.
I have committed to at least 1000 words per day for 100 days before I reassess what the next step is. "Coincidentally", the 100th day turns out to be Beltane.

Prior to writing my book every day I do a meditation. Today; as I was sitting, I began to feel some tremendously powerful energy move through me, incredible heat building up in my body. I've been practicing staying with these deeper intense emotions, so I was able to remain where I was and not "try" to do anything to move or control it. I am giving it life. Allowing it to be and express what it is. "Allowing" it to determine its own path, speaking clearly from Source energy. Without me interfering.

Not always an easy task.

Today, as I was leaning in I clearly heard the statement, "draw a card for the Collective." Shortly after, I heard a following thought that said for me to do this each week and enter it on my blog. This was a surprise as I have not even really thought of this blog for quite some time.

Well, as I am in a place of trusting my deeper instinctive Self this means if an idea rises from this place I honor it and I act. Sometimes this means just noticing and waiting for the right time. Today, it felt pretty clear that the time is now.

And so, here I am. Pulling the card for the week for the first time. We shall see how sustainable this is, see if it is something I will do as a part of my offering to the world...or if it is a one time thing. That is something I will be sitting with.

Its the Motherpeace Tarot I am invited to draw from today.
Interestingly, the 5 of swords fell out before I intentionally drew the card, so I have included that as well.

I'm going to digress for a moment as I've been with process a lot lately, and I want to acknowledge the struggle that is emerging as I write. "But, if I spend time with this I won't have time to bake my olive bread today! This is going to take so long!"

I recognize its about balance. I don't need to go into great depth. I don't "have" to go deep and explain the entire meaning of these cards.

I start where I am and view it from this place. I have already shared the post from "Hare in the Moon Astrology" on my Facebook page about the happenings with the planets (also Return of the WiseWomyn) and I can truly see why these cards came up. It is all connected.

Yes, we need to be careful and conscious, especially right now. Planets are going retrograde, planets are slowing, revealing to us those things that are ready for change, deep things that have been around for a long time. I'm feeling it.

We are vulnerable, we are at an edge of so many things. All the more reason to be conscious. All the more reason to slow down and be aware of our thoughts. Swords are mind. Bees sting. Bees can also be beautiful little creatures. It is up to us how we respond. We can struggle in the change or we can stand still and allow the bee to circle around us. We can stay centered.

I choose to stay, to lean in and honor that which rises. Even if it feels bigger than me.

I choose to listen to that Magician, the one who has all the tools she needs. The one who is ready to begin her journey of the next phase of her life. The next level of freedom, freedom from all those things that held me back in the past.

I am ready to meet the Priestess.

Today I take one step forward in service to the Collective and then I go bake bread, Kalamati Olive bread to be precise.

Today we can choose the Middle Way. We can be true to ourselves, draw on our gifts, be of service to the world and do what we love; what brings us joy.

What about you? What would this look like for you as we move into this incredibly powerful time?
(as we seem to be doing again and again and again ;))

Blessings!